Today is the start of a brand new day! I am getting out of this lame excuse of a marriage and moving back to my homestead. Everyone keeps trying to pity me: "Omg, I'm so sorry about what you're going through" "I'm so sorry, let me know if you need anything" and things of the sort. But I don't think anyone really understands how thrilled I am about my new and upcoming life. At first, yes, it was hard to grasp the concept that someone could stand there and say their vows to you on the verge of tears and less than two and a half years later come out and say "I don't want to be married anymore." I couldn't understand how someone could say "I still love you and care for you, but being married to you just isn't what I want." I'm sorry, but that is just flat out pathetic!
I am so glad that I finally snapped to. It was enough of the texting ex girlfriends asking for pictures and signing up for singles sites. It was all as a combination, a result of me caring for my marriage as much as the person who was supposed to care for ME cared for it. It took me about a day and a half to get to the point where I wasn't crying at random times just thinking about the whole situation. What changed my outlook? One single person telling me "Well, in my personal opinion, I always thought you were way out of his league and he was lucky to get a girl like you."
This one comment really brought be back down to earth. It made me remember all of the reasons I'm leaving (all the things my mom had told me time and time again) and that I really REALLY can do and deserve better. There are other, more colorful and exciting fish in the sea and I do NOT have to be tied down to one that just wants to check out the others and watch TV all day. I'm so ready to get out in that big world and see EVERYTHING. I want to take trips that aren't miserable, smile more often, I want to be able to rough it and be happy all the while.
These next few years I'm keeping to myself. I'm not ever going to rely on one single person to make me happy or even let anyone else support me. I'm thinking I'll move to Charleston and go to Charleston Southern to study in their Early Childhood Education program. Build my life up so that I can be happy on my own. Of course I will always be open for new people in my life. My family, my friends, my future, the things I plan to do with what I learn in school; all this stuff makes me SO super excited for the future. I'm just grateful that I'm getting out of this mess while I'm still young and have an amazing future ahead of myself.
At this point, my mom gets to say "I told you so!!" ;) And she sure did! So always listen to your mama, cause she's ALWAYS right.
